I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
