I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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