i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
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in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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