i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
