I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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