I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
