Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
