I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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