You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize