I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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