im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
