I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
