Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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