Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize