So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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