I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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