that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i think my cat just said my name.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
