i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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