East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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