I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
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Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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