Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
