U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can't turn off my feet"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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