im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just had sex bonerless
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
