C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
