I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
