Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
