who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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