umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
