then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
