K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
home. puking in laundry basket.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
