Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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