her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
