I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
