it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
