Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
