i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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