I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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