question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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