Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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