evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
4 words: hood of his car
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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