And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
