I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
