Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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