apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just invented taco cereal.
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I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
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i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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