Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
