so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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