I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
