I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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