it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
