mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
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