when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
