Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
