Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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