Say something about gay babies.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i think i just lost a toe
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
