if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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