it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
