Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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