Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
