Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
