We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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