I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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