I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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