David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
