he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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