I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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