Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
