dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
